So yeah… if you continue to read these things, you’re probably going to hear a lot about me… and my son Hudson… that’s just a warning.  I remember the days before I was a dad… I’d always hear pastors talk about their kids and how they would understand God through their kids… and yada yada yada.  I would think “enough about your kid already.”…  Now I’m a dad…and a pastor… and there I am… a pastor talking about his kid.  I apologize.

If you’ve known me 5 minutes, you know that I’m pretty gabby… If you’ve known me for more than 5 minutes… let’s say 10… you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve… and I’m usually quite open with what’s going on inside of me...Becky’s been able to slow me down a little bit in this area; I think there’s something about not wanting the whole world to know everything about our lives that she’s a little hesitant about… crazy huh? (I’ve got a great wife!).  I would say one of the gifts I have (I don’t have many) is giving words of affirmation…encouragement.  It doesn’t take long to realize that this world…and people… feel “beat down”, unappreciated, or simply unloved… Words, even one word, can do so much…to random strangers… to the ones we love…

Now to Hudson… although he’s 10 months old as of yesterday and is growing like he’s crazy… he doesn’t understand English…. He’s working on his bah bah bah’s and his mah mah mah’s… but that’s about it.  He also makes this funny little clicking noise… crazy.  I love it!

Now to me… again… pretty gabby… words of affirmation come easy…

“I love you Hudson.” “I love you buddy.” “Hudson, have I told you that I love you?” “Hudson, have a good night sleep, dad loves you.” “Hudson, dad has to go to work, but I love you.” “Hudson, you look just like your old man, I love you.” “Hudson, I’m sorry your tooth hurts, I love you.” “Hudson, I’ve probably said this already…. I love you.”

All the while… Hudson doesn’t understand any of my words… or what these three words mean… He doesn’t fully understand the heart that they overflow out of… He doesn’t understand that his dad would literally do anything for him… He doesn’t understand that even when I’m at work and sleeping at night that I think, pray, and smile…all because of him… again, he can’t understand what I’m saying…

Then there’s me… growing up in the church I would have never said that I heard God say much of anything… I had all the liturgy memorized (my parents were not to happy when I would recent the words of the pastor in a mocking voice), I’d sing all the hymns, I’d listen to the first few minutes of the sermon and then begin counting…whatever I could find to count from where I was sitting… simply to pass the time.

But more than that… yeah, I pretty much don’t think I heard God say anything to me… anywhere or anytime…

I can clearly remember the first time I had an “encounter” with God… it wasn’t a vision or anything… just the feeling of His presence… I was a junior in high school, in the basement of an office building in Watertown, while a group of other kids were singing… I didn’t hear words… I didn’t understand much of anything…except that I knew whatever I felt near me was good… it was a glimpse of wholeness like I had never felt before… After my first experience, I promised to never be in the place again; only to find myself in the same spot the following week… again it was that presence… not words.

I went from hating (yes, “hate”) everything about church, religion, god, confirmation, long services, etc… to craving whatever it was… I couldn’t wait for more of "it"… and then I remember slowly…very slowly beginning to “hear” and “understand” things… through words of songs I began to somehow hear “I care about you Adam”… through Bible verses that I had heard so many times before… I was beginning to hear “I’m watching over you Adam.”  In times in prayer… I began to hear “I like you Adam”

What was happening…. I was slowing beginning to understand the language of God… I was slowly beginning to hear and understand the words of my Father… and what he was trying to say to me… 

Bah… Bah… Bah… slowly became “Adam, my son, my child, my beloved… I LOVE YOU.” “Adam, I was watching you all night while you slept, I love you.” “Adam, I was with you through this and that, I love you.” “Adam, you are a masterpiece that I’ve created, I love you.” “Adam, have I told you that I love you?”… “If you hear nothing else today, Adam, I love you.”

I not only began to understand the words, but I began to see a glimpse of the heart that these words were overflowing from… “Really?” I wondered… it changed everything for me… my dad loves me.

The day I truly understood His words for the first time was a big day for me…An even bigger day was the day I realized that He… had been saying these words to me… all along… my whole life…before I was even created… He was there whispering these words… “I love you Adam.”  I simply didn’t understand…I was only a baby…but he was still my Father…crazy in love with me… with Adam…his son.

Lord, even now there are times when I somehow “forget” your language… or I simply choose not to listen to your words… but you continue to…over and over… whisper, say, and shout… “I love you”…  Even when I don’t realize it… I need to hear those words…and especially from you… every time I do, I’m captivated…I’m made whole…I’m thankful...I smile... my hear leaps...

Lord today, there are people…specific names…in need of your words… they need to hear from you… I pray that you would give their hearts ears that can hear…and understand you whisper....Lord, please meet them where they are… it may start with your presence… and then slowly move from bah…bah… bah… to “I love you… so much… and I always have.” 

Also, I may not say it enough… but “I love you Father.” Amen.

P.S. If anyone has questions about the above, don't hesitate to ask. Some of it may sound a little crazy I know...