I write this while sitting outside of my house (it's Saturday night at 9).  Becky's been gone yesterday and today so it's just been Hudson and I.  We've had alone time before and often...but the longest at one time is a long afternoon or morning when mom's taken a break or had some things to do... but never for this long... 2 full days... Hudson (the cutest baby ever...) left with me... dad (a parent that was able to get by the last 2 days solely because mom wrote out the longest cheat sheet ever...explaining the feeding, sleeping, and everything put pooping schedule... Hudson takes care of that part on his own).  I'll be honest in saying that I was a bit nervous... being alone... what if this happens... what if that happens... but it turned out being an absolutely wonderful last 2 days.  Wonderful, uninterrupted time spent with my son Hudson... and for Hudson... wonderful time spent with Dad...

Hudson's crawling around like he's crazy now... finding everything he shouldn't and making sure to taste it as well...(cell phones, toilet paper roles, etc).  He's even starting to try and stand up off of things... he's able to get on his knees now... What's also really started to kick in is his desire to be around mom and dad.  He likes to venture off and check things out but he also wants to know where we're at...

Then there's me.  Things are so busy right now... with work, helping out around the house, appointments, etc... When I get home, I'm either ready to collapse, talk with mom, or get a few things done around the house... Like I mentioned, one of the things Hudson wants is to be around dad...I love it... and when he really wants me to notice him, he gets so close that he puts his hand on top of my foot... it's his way of saying "dad, pick me up", "dad, let's play", "dad, notice me". I usually look down and he stares up at me with his bright blue eyes smiling like he crazy... I can't help but pick him.  I mean... I'm his dad... he's my son... I could type pages on why I love Hudson... endless pages... (I could probably write a few pages about him driving me to the edge as a parent but that's another day)... about how I love the way he smiles/laughs... about the way he looks like me... about the way he makes me feel...

"Hudson, I see you... I feel you near me... I hear you... and Yes, I'm here... let's play... let me pick you up... let me tell you how much I love you... I'm your dad and I'm so thankful for the last 2 days spent only with you Hudson... my son... "

Then there's me again... tonight after I got Hudson put asleep, I put on my hoodie,  went in our back yard, and laid out in the grass starting up at the moon...

I found myself saying something similar to Hudson... 

"Dad, I'm here... I'm at your feet...Do you notice me?  I'm longing to spend some time with you...would you pick me up...would you tell me that you love me... would you tell me that you have everything taken care of... Dad, would you just want to spend a couple of minutes with me.. you must have so much to think and worry about... I mean geez... you're in control of everything; you must be busy... but you still really want to spend time with me... you don't mind if I bother you for a bit...  I'm so thankful that you're always there for me... I'm so thankful that you're always available... I'm so thankful for the way that you look down at me and can't help but pick me up...I'm so thankful that I look like you and you tell me that I'm made in your image...Dad, I love you... I mean.. I really really love you..."

There wasn't anything in particular I needed to know or ask tonight... I just wanted to spend some time with my dad...God the Father.